⬅️ *That's such a great question. Pause + take a breath before you read this blog.* 💜

I'm back to in-person networking. 🫱🏾‍🫲🏻

It's the best strategy for growing awareness around my business.

When someone is suffering with grief, having a trusted friend say to that person: “Hey, I know you're hurting and I know someone who can help…” is so much better than forwarding an Instagram post.

Why? Because it's personal.

And since the work I do is highly personal, having a referral system that reflects that intentionality makes the most sense.

Why I am telling you this, though? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Because networking has me thinking differently about the value I offer to my clients—and anyone I know, honestly—through my experience with the Grief Recovery Method.

I've acquired some golden nuggets of wisdom through this program and I want to share them with you over the next few weeks in the hope that they will impact the way you speak to yourself and others. 🤍

So let's jump in.

Let's talk about the common myths around grief.

Did you even know there were myths? 😉

(BTW, if you're tempted to check out of this blog because you think this topic doesn't apply to you, you're wrong. 💔 It applies to you. It applies to everyone! You may not be grieving, but I guarantee someone you know or love is. I want to help you show up for them to the best of your ability!)

Myth 1: “Don't feel bad”

Do people really say that, Hannah?

Oh, yes; they do. Sadly.

Some people say it just like that, too: “Don't feel bad; it will be okay.”

Or some people say it differently, but it lands just the same:

➡️ “Don't cry. It'll be better in the morning.”

➡️ “Keep your chin up; things will get better.”

➡️ “Don't worry; everything will work out for good.”

➡️ “It's their loss. There's plenty of fish in the sea.” 🎣

Ok, self-check here: How do these statements land with you?

🙈 Do they rub you the wrong way?

🙈 Has anyone ever said anything similar to you?

🙈 Have you said similar things to someone else?

🙈 Or are you like, “Hannah, what's the big deal? It's true; it will get better."

Let me invite you to consider that what's true here is HOW these statements write off someone's emotional experience.

These cliches don't acknowledge or leave room for individual suffering.

They explain away, downplay, or even outright ignore the pain the grieving person has in their heart. 💔

Perhaps before these statements are made, we say, “Oh, I'm sorry that happened…"

And how do we usually finish that sentence?

“BUT… [Insert whatever cultural-cliche-that's-not-really-supportive.]”

Oh, the word “but." 🙄

The word “but” often negates the sentiment we expressed prior, leaving the listener with a comment that has minimized or belittled their feelings.

And the myth of “don't feel bad" is textbook for this pattern and we participate in it more than we realize! 😬

But how is it a myth, Hannah? 👇🏾

Because it's a widely held belief and response that is also false.

It's dismissive. Dare I say, even unhealthy?

When someone goes through a tough breakup, the last thing they're usually thinking about is all the other people they could date.

If someone loses a pet or a job opportunity, they aren't immediately looking for the bright side. They're physically overwhelmed with hurt feelings.

When we engage in the myth of “don't feel bad" by repeating cultural cliches, we're unconsciously encouraging people to shove their pain down and keep it inside, which is actually unhealthy.👎🏾

When we lose something we care about, we DO feel bad + that's perfectly okay! 💥

Let's allow people to feel bad! Or maybe you need to allow yourself to feel bad…

Either way, let's be a safe space for others, letting them keep their chin down until their personal grieving process is through.

It's important to start normalizing this truth with ourselves and those in our community.

It's a simple and powerful gift we can give! 💝

I can't tell you how soothing it is for my clients when I tell them that it's perfectly okay for them to not feel okay. 🫂

And if you're hurting right now as you read this, I want to remind you that it's normal and natural to feel bad when you've lost something or someone you love.

Forget about the fish; forget about the sea. 🎣❌🌊

Acknowledge your feelings, because feeling bad is what makes you beautifully human! ✨